You let my friend move in, and honestly..I've kinda changed. You see, I come home and I have someone else to talk to about my problems. I love you a lot, and you don't understand that I know you feel like I've changed, but I'm just the same. I didn't have someone to come home to everyday and spend time with. I didn't have this, I finally feel like I have a sister.. and you're making me feel like I can't. I'm not allowed. My decisions are always decided like your feelings don't matter. They Do. I'm still the same person. I'm still Andrea Olvera. Your daughter.
I have a new boyfriend, and a friend-sister, a father who criticizes all the time, a person who loves me.. a person who will always be my hero and my best friend. I hope you know, I'm jealous... All around, on everything!
The fact I feed you the truth, and trust you, you feed me "you don't know how to respect me"...I have a plan for you. I very fun plan, and you're making this harder and harder to do. I'm trying to achieve my goals, follow my heart, and I feel like there's no open doors to let me even think about my heart. What I say is wrong, what I do is wrong, what I think... is wrong. I can't succeed in life, so I might as well give up. I can't succeed without my heart and my hearts shut down for the night, maybe even for good. I have a huge present, A HUGE present for you. It's all for next year, after I graduate. I'm sorry.. maybe I just want to make you happy, by achieving my goals. That's not possible, is it?
I have respect for you, I do... I just can't show that well when I feel replaced. Neglected, and the only person I have in my life.. is Austin.
I'm trying to get a job, I want to move out, I maybe just want to take some control of my life. SOME. I'm sorry I want to grow up. I'm sorry. You don't know that I have anxiety attacks a lot at school, because I feel judged looking at other people. You don't know what I step into once I'm inside school territory. I'm scared. I'm scared to show my face. I'm scared what this girl with think, or that one, or the lead role in Cats. I'm scared to take chances, and I'm just starting to over come it. Now i'm just falling back into my shell, and I just need YOU to hold me and tell it's all okay. Please.
I love you mom, so much. You'll always be my best friend and my hero.
Just understand it's a hard time right now and I don't know what to do..
I'm in love with him, and I have a friend who cares enough to stay with me, and even listen to me bitch.
You and I.. we've fallen apart. But you'll always be my best friend.
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