Tonight I Wanna Cry

Having to make peace with an inner demon is something I hoped was easy. I had realized that facing your demon's is harder than looking in the mirror, it's harder than getting all the possible hair off your legs to shave, it's hard.
 I could lose a lot, and with how much faith I have in myself.. I could hurt those around me. I don't know if it's how he looks at her, or how he talks about how she's done this but I feel replaced. I don't know, maybe it's just one of those demons. I'm facing it, but running away after everything get's calm. I can't face it in a calm matter. I understand fighting in a relationship can only go so far, and it's normal but when you fight 24/7 it exhaust's you. Emotionally, Mentally, and Physically. I just hate myself after all that I've caused to some people. I hate that I cause so much people, so much pain. Really, I never thought it was possible since I was the fragile one. Now, I experienced my own hurting to someone else.
 Looking into the eyes of him, I wanted to just hug him and apologize but I know saying 'i'm sorry' wasn't going to help. At all. I've never really been, I guess, jealous before. So I don't know how to react to it, it's hard having to face THAT demon, but i'll do it. One day at a time. Hopefully I don't lose everyone in the process..

-Andrea