I continuously think by making myself happy first will help you make others happy. Well guys, I'm not happy but I'm trying to make others happy. I hate when I go through repeats of nights where texts are the same or the continuous thoughts with anxiety attacking. I can't help but be angry, with everyone, because I never have gotten appreciated. As a person. I clean up after people without being asked, generally that'd be a nice gesture but having to do it meal after meal after meal without a "Thank You" being said. C'mon, we all know that rude as heck!
My bestfriend, who obtains major depression, is someone who I can talk to about everything but when the depression kicks in with her, I don't know if what I'm saying is effecting her in anyway. I love her, but I wish I could just take all her pain away and leave her with a happy and healed heart.
In a relationship, shouldn't communication be #1? I would assume so, considering if you're not happy with something that your significant other is doing or is making you uncomfortable, you should say something. To maybe prevent later arguments, though I do understand arguments ALWAYS happen in relationships, there's nothing to prevent those... unless you're perfect.
I don't think I've also been involved in a situation at a workplace, or anywhere for that matter, where gender discrimination has been such a major issue. Or maybe I'm just complaining. Anyway, I can see where not ALL women are as strong as men but you know there are women who are just that. I am, personally, not that woman. I'll be determined, I'll sweat my ass off, I'll push myself to the limits and I'll even admit when I'm not fit for that type of work but that should never stop me from trying. I am the ONLY woman who works in my line of work, but has that ever stopped me from proving people wrong? No. I may not come out as the best worker compare to others, who prefer to get shot by paintballs without the ability to shoot back, but with customers or desk work you'll see me achieve lots.
I may have a short temper when it comes to other people, but sometimes it takes a lot to get me to explode. I have literally given up all hope in trying to achieve things that have horrible outcomes. Why fight in a relationship when no points are being taken in as a chance to improve or outcome? Why argue with someone if I'm always going to be the one put down, even if I'm the one that's right? Why try to waste energy on being happy, if I'm not even happy now?
Why?
What I would do to know how to live my life the right way, right this second..
Honestly, I can't say that because I don't know what I would do but I would hope I'd do it right. Give me an opportunity to grow and you'll see colors, even if sometimes the colors don't blend...
-Andrea
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